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One in ten men in Britain has admitted to paying for sex.
Contrary to popular belief, they come from all walks of life, from teenagers to pensioners. Nor are they all lonely men seeking solace ; many have partners and are in long-term relationships or marriages. To many, it has almost become socially acceptable.
Numerous academic studies and articles have explored the demographics of punters and sex workers, the horrors of trafficking, and the merits or otherwise of decriminalising prostitution. But almost no attention has been paid to the partners of men who visit prostitutes.
The situation is different in the USA and Australia, where there are well-established support groups. So it is that a growing number of British women, who discover their partner has been sleeping with prostitutes, are left feeling horribly isolated, with nowhere to turn. Deeply moved by her predicament, I decided to write a Sex hookers looking seeking woman on the subject.
Like many of the women I subsequently interviewed, Sarah had believed that hers was a happy relationship, with a healthy sex life. Perhaps more surprisingly, her husband — and most of the men I spoke to - agreed and even claimed feelings of undiminished Sex hookers looking seeking woman.
Understandably, such hollow declarations neither reassured the women, Sex hookers looking seeking woman repaired their sense of shame, grief and rejection. Because there can be little as shocking as discovering that your trusted partner is paying for sex behind your back.
The women described feelings of shame and blamed themselves. The initial trauma of wkman discovery is followed by disbelief and a need to make sense of what has happened.
Charlotte told me that after a few days, when the numbness had subsided and she stopped bursting into tears every few minutes, she tried to think of a rational explanation.
In the days and months that followed, she developed a compulsive need to find out why her apparently devoted Sex hookers looking seeking woman should have betrayed her for so long.
This is a reaction I encountered regularly. Some seekiny attribute it to putting on weight or to a lack of adventurous spirit in bed, or see it simply as an antidote to marital boredom.
They liked my husband and doubtless saw me as some harridan who had driven him elsewhere. All the women I interviewed agreed that what had happened was far worse than their partner simply having an affair.
But to have chosen to pay for sex - and with any woman at that - felt too much like an attack on me. Many of the women had contacted marriage guidance counsellors but found them lacking in specialised training.
Some paid for private counselling, where experiences varied wildly. A few women did manage to address their trauma. But others felt that the counsellor was seeking to blame them.
What these women really needed was someone who understood and empathised with their position without judgement. It was something they struggled to find.
One in 10 British men has admitted to paying for sex. Anna, the protagonist of my novel, seeks therapy but bridles as the psychologist examines her childhood and her relationship with her mother.
Instead, Anna becomes convinced that the way to repair her shattered self-confidence is to embark on a series of affairs. As Sex hookers looking seeking woman women who follow this path find, having an affair flatters their ego but does not address the core problem. The women draw comparisons between themselves and the individual prostitutes, developing a hatred that easily progresses Sex hookers looking seeking woman self-disgust. One thing is obvious: Santa Fe sluts looking sex are not the only women who require adequate support.
What they all agree on is one thing: Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation.
Wednesday 05 December Meet the forgotten victims of prostitution When it comes to 'victims' of the sex industry, there's one group Sex hookers looking seeking woman women who are rarely mentioned - the deeply shocked wives and girlfriends of men who pay for sex.
Author Vesna Main spoke to some of them to find out about blame and obsession Forgotten victims: I made him repeat it in case I had misheard.
The women described feelings of shame and looing themselves The initial trauma of the discovery is followed by disbelief and a need to make sense of what has happened. One Sex hookers looking seeking woman 10 British men has admitted to paying for sex Anna, the protagonist of my novel, seeks therapy but bridles as the psychologist examines her childhood and her relationship with her mother.
In fact, that is a not uncommon reaction.Aurora Married Personals
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